“I love that you are always happy to see me in the morning,” my son Evan said a few years ago. “That’s one of the reasons you’re such a great mom.”
I won’t even pretend that I didn’t love that honest compliment from my firstborn. It made me feel appreciated, as though my efforts had been noticed. Is it wrong to categorize smiling at my children as effort? Something that requires actual work? Well, when he is crying at two in the morning with a fever and an earache, and I still have to get ready for work at five, then yes. Appearing joyful, even when looking at the beautiful children I’ve created, can require effort.
I agree with my son that this is one of my areas of strength. I am always happy to see my kids, whether it’s first thing in the morning or when I pick them up from school in the afternoon. I also try to listen to their problems, commemorate their successes, and appreciate them for who they are – and they are very, very different.
Ten years ago, I wouldn’t have known how to name my strengths as a mom. We aren’t always the best at self-promotion. But it is important to acknowledge what we are doing well, to celebrate ourselves, and to support other mothers.
So this Mother’s Day, I asked Richmond area moms to take a moment to toot their own horns, tell us what makes them fabulous or why their children say they are. Here is what they had to say:
What makes you feel like a good mom?
I believe I’m a good mom because I try to use all my diverse life experiences to give my multicultural kids a balanced outlook on life and culture, the space to ask questions, and room to grow as they are. I have set routines and rules in place that are non-negotiable. Our schedules may vary, but what we do within does not. It’s a learning process and no day is perfect, but I know I’m TRYING to raise my children to be good humans with life skills to be global citizens and that’s what matters.
All the above being said, I truly FEEL like a good mom only when we are snuggling, playing board games, on our walks, or whenever we are doing things together.
— Aditi Singh is the founder of RaisingWorldChildren.com and multi-award winning author of the Sparkling Me children’s books series and diverse parenting books like Strong Roots Have No Fear and Raising the Global Mindset.
What makes you feel like a good mom?
When I read your questions, I had a difficult time thinking of an answer because I have been a mother since I was eighteen years old, and a lot of what I have done in life was because of wanting to be a good mom. I never thought about putting it into words; I just did it! So in order to put it into words, I asked my three children:
Lauren (23 years old): “You are very supportive. You are strong.”
Amir (10 years): “You discipline us and don’t let us do whatever we want. You give me jobs around the house so that I can earn currency. When you bake, you share with me.”
Nasir (6 years old): “You call dad to help us out [co-parenting]. You help us with cleaning our room. You help me log onto [virtual] class.”
— Takisha Ogunyemi is a mother of three, owner of O-So Good Cakes and Treats, and Founder of Young Entrepreneur Association, a nonprofit organization located in Petersburg, Virginia. For more information, visit www.yeava.org
I had a great mother growing up, and I strive to be like her each and every day in the way that I parent by teaching kindness, empathy, and above all encouraging my children to be the best versions of themselves.
–Rebecca Pope, Mom of Maddie (11) and Franklin (8) Richmond, VA
What makes you feel like a good mom?
What are some of your favorite moments of motherhood?
What makes you feel like a good mom?
What are some of your favorite moments of motherhood?
What makes you feel like a good mom?
I feel like a good mom when my son and I create together, especially when I’m teaching him a creative skill that opens up his imagination, allows for emotional or spiritual expression, and just plain excites him. I’m not sure that my cookie-making photo is representative of the first two, ha, but it CERTAINLY demonstrates that last one. We build forts in the woods, make magic potions, identify birds, tend the garden together… all of those things make me feel like a good mom.
Importantly, though, I also feel like a good mom when instead of playing a zombie-faced round of Uno with him when I’m exhausted from a tough day, I hand him the iPad and go take a candlelit bath. Taking care of myself – prioritizing that, modeling to him that when we’re depleted, we need to honor ourselves – makes me feel like a good mom, too.”
–Bird Cox, Executive Director of Richmond Young Writers and owner of Bizarre Market https://bizarremarket.net/
Thank you to the moms who shared their stories with us! Happy Mother’s Day, RVA!
